What A Beautiful Day!

Glorious sunshine tonight!

What A Beautiful Day!

What a beautiful summer’s day it is here in England, land of the brave, home of the free, where native kangaroos and alligators and Utah prairie dogs bask in the sun by the banks of the Nile.

I write this now, 13th November 2024, under a Conservative government, reigned over by Queen Victoria, as I feed my pet dodos (to my pet crocadillo, Percy).

How glorious to live in this world where everything is honest, and true, and that nothing someone says when frothing at the mouth with contempt and hatred about German cunts is actually proof of anything at all, and how dare you suggest it might be, young Sonny Jim! Go wash your mind out with soap for even thinking it, you contemptible toad.

It is not true, cannot be true, and will never be true, so hear me God, Buddha and the blessed Robbie Bernard Fowler.

Any why all this piffle anyway? Don’t people know we’re at war with the Kaiser, and that the Spanish Armada are heading up along the flanks of our shores, just off Madagascar? Oh damn this midday sun, at 6pm.

Or maybe it’s the gaslight?

Right, I’d better go, as the penguins are barking at the postman, and Bigfoot has got into an argument with the Loch Ness monster over which one of them is really Lord Lucan.

Enough of all this. Let’s see what Sky Sports has to say...